your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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