it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
honey bunches of taint.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
