New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
