How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
