what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
