I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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