Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
