then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
