3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
