haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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