sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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