I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
