Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
