So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
