Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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