I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
