shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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