The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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