She went from zero to smokin in five shots
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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