Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize