I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
