my mouth tastes like poor choices
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
