i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Someone came in the potted fern
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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