Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
