I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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