I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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