I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
