she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I pour the whiskey from now on
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
