She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
