Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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