so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She bit a glass in half.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
