I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
