i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
