if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
