Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
