He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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