Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
