Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
