Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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