quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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