I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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