I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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