i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
