The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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