just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
