i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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