We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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