The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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