Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
