we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
