if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
