A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
