My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
