...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
How external is "for external use only"?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
