You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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