So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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