The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
