You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
