when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i think im in europe. pls send help
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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