I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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