Betty ford says i'm here all night
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
