Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
