I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
