everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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