Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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