He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is wine microwaveable?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize