Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
