At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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