I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Semen is not good for contacts.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
