My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize