Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
