No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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