I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Randomize