Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize