Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
