She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
nutella sex= disaster
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
