I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
