So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
