I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
