I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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