remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
