Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My hand turned me down
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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