Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
